Living in the Dark

"I had never seen a spectacle that was so repulsive, yet so intriguing as that which I saw on a blistering hot afternoon in August of my 16^th year on this earth."

Not me, of course.  My 16th year was tragically dull and verifiably consumed with whatever it took to be "cool" in my little corner of the world.

These are the words of a girl whose life is much more exciting than mine.  If it wasn't, who would want to read about her?  I promised in my last blog, so.....this is the first sentence of my story.  Or a variation of it.  It will likely be revised about two dozen times as I get to know my girl.  But it will be something this.

And now you know a few things about her.  For one thing, you know that she has seen something unusual.  Something that has repulsed her and drawn her to it.  Ever seen anything like that?  Think car crash, video footage of a suicide jumper, those commercials for starving children.  She has seen something along those lines.  But I'm not telling what it is.  Maybe in another blog! 

You also know that she's 16.  Why 16?  Well, in her world a 16 year old would already have been married.  She is not so this puts her at a bit of a social disadvantage.  But I would say it puts her maturity level at about a 25 year old today.  I couldn't make her 25 because she would be middle-aged during a time when the average life expectancy was about 43.  Actually, it's probably younger due to disease but there are no records I can rely on to be sure.  There are very little records of what life was like in the Medieval world, or the Dark Ages, if you prefer.  Why this time in history for my story?  That's a very good question--I'm glad you asked!

I happened to be watching the History Channel one night and caught a documentary on life in the Dark Ages.  I remember the discussion of how it must have felt to see crumbling evidence of the Roman Empire all around: roads, aqueducts, buildings, etc.  To live a life that was so bleak, that was defined by hunger and poverty, and then to see with your own eyes that before your lifetime was a time of brilliance, innovation, wealth, and greatness.  To know that humanity had already peaked and you were unfortunate to be born on the miserable downhill side of it.  That captured my imagination.  I also began to wonder: how on earth did Christianity survive this time in history?  A time before scriptures were available to anyone but learned clergy, a time when superstition and heresy dominated popular thought.  But somehow, this period of history gave way to the Reformation and the Rennaisance.  Even after all the research I've done, it's still pretty much a mystery.

So I began to imagine a character who has a feeling deep down that God is real but has no where to go for answers.  How would God make himself known to this character, propelling her foward in her quest?  What kind of resistance would she meet along the way?  What mistakes would she make?  What character flaws would make her feel inadequate to do this "thing" of seeking answers, particularly in a world that did not respect women?  How would the experience of reading scripture for the first time make her feel?  Scripture like Hebrews 2:14-15 "Because God's children are human beings--made of flesh and blood--the Son also became flesh and blood.  For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the devil, who had the power of death.  Only in this way could he set fee all who have lived their lives as slaves to the fear of dying."  We take verses like this for granted today because we hear the same message every Sunday.  Plus, we tend to think we're immortal and don't give much thought to dying.  But imagine...you're life is miserable, everything is stacked against you surviving, and yet the thought of hell being worse than this life is too awful to bear.  But you don't know how to avoid hell.  You don't personally know anyone who has access to scripture and even if you did, you can't read.  Maybe the local priest recites the Apostle's Creed in Latin during mass, but for the most part, leaves the concept of grace a total mystery (maybe he's even a bit confused by it?  Oh!  An unexpected plot twist!).  And then, after risking everything--after experiencing this great adventure, you make the discovery that you are set free.  Free from fear of death, free from the fear of hell, free from penance, free from the darkness of just not knowing.  

Remember how it felt the first time you really realized that someone came before you to break the power of hell (which, in this ancient world was very, very real)?  The first time you felt that love--and then immediately felt unworthy of that love?  Maybe it's just me, but I think that makes for an incredibly compelling story! 

But that's just a part of the journey--a part of the story.  Because as any believer will tell you, belief is really just the beginning.  Like I tell the kids in Kid's Church, if you were lucky enough to wake up this morning, you have a job to do!

And now I'm  off to mine.  That's right, fixing lunch for a hungry toddler.  Because such is my life!